Sundays w/ Sara: The Mayan Edition

So, busy-busy-busy time of year! My sons birthday was this week, Hanukkah, Christmas, and Kwanzaa are coming up, New Years Eve, and the end of the world as we know it is upon us in a couple of weeks - boy, is December just packed full of exciting stuff!

So, not to scare you or anything, but did you hear about what happened in India earlier this year? Almost 700 Million people lost power for 2 Days in July. Can you imagine your life without cell phone, computer, TV, lights, refrigeration, air conditioning, etc for 2 days? Most of us get impatient if something doesn't work after 3 seconds... we wouldn't stand a chance. What about the very real threat of cyber warfare? Everything is on the grid these days, it's not unreasonable to imagine hackers breaking in and bringing down the power grid of any given country. Bringing the world to a grinding halt.

Then what? Are the Mayans right? Does the world implode or explode, literally or figuratively?

Are you prepared to fight your neighbor to the death over a box of (now discontinued) Twinkies and can of chunk light tuna in water? Because that is what's going to happen. It might sound extreme but it's really quite possible. The governments might be able to maintain control for a few weeks, but its eventually gonna fall apart... although, it probably won't actually be because some guy with a gold & leather skirt and feathers in his hair several thousand years ago said it would, it will more likely be our own greed that brings about our destruction... but hey, this is a mixed post :-).

The vast majority of us are completely ill equipped to cope if even the slightest thing goes wrong. Billions of people will die. Though I personally will not lament the loss of the Kardashians or Snookie and Jwoww or Justin Bieber... millions of folks who are more concerned with what's happening on the next season of Pawn Stars will die because they just never learned any skills that might help them survive, and part of me thinks that is sad... a very small part. The rest says "good riddance.", less people means a healthier planet. 

That being said, I have zero confidence, er... uh... fear that anything of any significance will happen on the 21st of December this year. The end of the Mesoamerican Long Count calendar isn't significant in any way other than maybe they ran out of rock to chisel on (I'm kidding, of course... everyone knows they made everything out of gold...). The Long Count calendar lasts about 5,125.36 years which is referred to as the Great Cycle. There have been 13 Great Cycles. The next one will be March 26, 2407. Hopefully by then mankind (if we are still around) will have learned that its not a big deal and it will be a proper party.


"However, Mayan scholars and natives dismiss the apocalyptic theories, noting that end of the calendar would be regarded as a time of celebration, much like modern-day New Year festivities [source: Stevenson]. There are also no Mayan inscriptions or writings that predict the end of the world when the Great Cycle concludes [source: MacDonald]." - from how stuff works.

Now maybe you are asking about "Planet X" now. Its a secret planet that is supposed to crash into us and knock us off our axis and into oblivion... Epic winner Neil deGrasse Tyson has this to say on it:

So, that's that... if we use a little logic and keep our noggins clear of irrational paranoia we would be able to see that there is no impending apocalypse, no planetary collisions, no nothing (except our own greed and selfish consumption of finite resources which WILL lead to our end if we don't change...)  Really, we should be looking at this as the best damn New Years party EVER and prepping ourselves for a really great 2013. Hopefully. Sometimes life just sucks, but maybe we can take a crack and making the world a better place, helping our fellow man, and cleaning up our planet, hmmm? Perhaps make the betterment of humanity our goal instead of acquiring giant cars, over priced purses, and iCrap? Maybe? Ok... well... we'll see.

Hope the injuries you sustained fighting that 67 year old grandma for a cashmere scarf during Black Friday have healed... Happy Holidays y'all. 

 

  

In the Kitchen w/ Sara: Cranberry Stuffing (or Dressing, if you want to be Technical about it)

Happy Holidays, y'all. I've been graciously asked to contribute a recipe for Thanksgiving by the Life & Style Guild so here it is. My stuffing recipe, presented for the enjoyment of yourself and your family. Technically it's dressing as it appears here, but you can shove it all up in to your turkey and *Voila* stuffing.

The first time I made this was a couple of years ago while we were living in Colorado. It happened almost completely by accident.

I had a slightly stale loaf of Udi's gluten free bread that we just never got around to eating. I didn't want it to go to waste and it was Sourdough or something so it would have been kind of terrible for french toast, so I decided to make stuffing. From scratch. Which I had never done before. This was WAY before Pinterest, so I went to good old Google for inspiration and instruction. I sort of pieced this together from my own imagination and a bunch of recipes, none of which I remember since it was in, like, 2010. Anyway, it came out delicious... like, "Damn, this is delicious!" delicious.

I preface by saying that you can toast the bread in the oven, as I have done today for times sake, but its really so much better if you toast it in a pan on the stove top. It takes longer and is about double the work because, unless you have the largest fry pan in the world, you'll have to do it in batches but its so worth it. Also, if you don't have any rendered bacon fat, stop what you are doing, make some bacon, and use all that drippy goodness for the benefit of all those whom shall sit at your table.

Don't feel the need to go 100% by the book here. Baking is like science and has to be exact, cooking is a little more like religion... there is room for interpretation. If you don't like parsley, use sage instead; if you have shallots and not an onion, use those bad boys. There are no rules in cooking... except washing your hands... you should always wash your hands. That's just good hygiene.

• What you'll need:
• 
  
• 2 loaves slightly stale bread (I used Udi's Gluten Free bread, but you can use what ever you like.)
• 4 tablespoons of bacon fat (You can use butter too. I won't judge you. I love butter... I just love bacon fat more.)
• 4 stalks of celery, cut how you like (I like things to be pretty small, but thats me. If you like big chunks, go big or go home.)
• 1 medium onion, cut how you like (Again, I like it small, so I actually grated mine.)
• 2 garlic cloves, minced
• 1/2 cup white wine (Use something you will want to drink... I used pinot grigio.)
• 1 container of chicken broth (Or 2 cans... or home made, about 14.5oz - 16oz in the end.)
• 1/2 cup of dried or fresh cranberries (Its up to you.)
• 1/2 cup parsley leaves (Fresh or dried, I used dried)
• Salt & Pepper to taste
• Lubricant of choice for baking pan (Pam, butter, what ev's.)

Directions:

1. Cut or rip your bread into about 1/2 inch to 1 inch pieces. Lay out the bread in a single layer on 2 baking sheets and toast in the oven for about 10 minutes at 400 degrees. If you are feeling particularly Devil-May-Care, coat the bread chunks bacon fat (or butter... or olive oil) first. Or toast it in the pan as I mentioned above. Its so worth it. That won't count as the 4 tablespoons though, so have extra. 
2. In a large saucepan, heat the bacon fat (or butter) over medium. Add celery, onion, and garlic; season with salt and pepper (To taste or to medical need... a lot of people are cutting back on the salt these days.). Stir occasionally, until vegetables are softened then add wine and cook about 5 more minutes. Transfer this yummy goodness to a large bowl.
3. Add bread, parsley, and cranberries to the veggies. Season with a little salt and pepper. Slowly add in half of broth. Stir. Continue to add in more broth just until stuffing is just moistened (Not wet, there should not be any liquid pooling in the bottom.). If it seems to dry, beat an egg or 2 together and add it. That's what Martha would do.
4. Spoon stuffing into your baking dish that has been buttered or Pam'd. Cover with buttered (or Pam'd) aluminum foil. Bake covered, 25 minutes, then uncover and bake until golden and delicious, about 15 minutes more.
   
   
   Sorry for the lack of pics, I took several of the process but its a cell phone and most of them didn't really come out very good and since I was concentrating on cooking, I failed to notice. These are the ones that looked good enough to post.

   

   Pretty, Pretty Bread.

   
   

   

   Pretty, Pretty Onion.

   
   

   

   Like a cranberry in the sun.

   
   

   

   On the table. 

   
   

Sundays w/ Sara - The Edition you will probably wish you skipped

My 2 year old son heard me crying this morning. He asked me "what wrong, mommy?" and I almost died inside.

I immediately forced myself to stop because I feel that he should never, ever be burdened with my problems, but I also realized that last year I was crying on this day too, and possibly the year before that.

It's my birthday, but that isn't why I am crying, nothing so inane as that... I'm crying for the same reason that I haven't blogged in several months; shit sucks and things are bad. Like, really bad. And they have been for a very, very long time. I feel like such a jerk for feeling sorry for myself today too. The words "no one should cry on their birthday" keep rolling though my head and I know that is total bullshit. There are people trying not to get blown up in countries across the Middle East, some are grappling with debilitating and life threatening disease, others are battling physical and mental abuse...  what the hell do I have to cry about? I feel guilty, even though my feelings are as valid as the next humans, I know that there are people out there that have it much worse than I do and I hate myself even more for feeling the way I do. I'm angry. I'm sad. I'm bitter. I'm demoralized.

I'm not asking for pity nor do I expect it. I don't want words of encouragement or condolence. I am a big girl, not a Disney Princess. This is me venting because I have no place else to put this and I have to get some little part of it out of my head lest it spill over and taint the only good thing I have in my life; my family. I want everyone to take a second and think about everything that goes right for them on a daily basis: having a job, a place to live, good friends, food to eat, a car to drive, good health and the ability to maintain it, etc. Anything above and beyond that. Really be grateful for it, because there are people that have sub-par versions of those things or none of those things at all.

 Its no fun blogging when you have nothing good to report. I'm not going to bore you with the details of my first world problems, just know that things are really, really bad and I am doing the best I can to not let it affect me so much that it affects others. I hope to start blogging again soon if I ever have the energy and appropriate emotional condition to do so.

Happy Birthday to me. Here's hoping things start to look up soon...

In the Kitchen w/ Sara: Chicken, Bacon & Avocado

Food that looks like baby poo has always been the Achilles Heel of my food world. I have a really hard time with food textures and consistencies, its why I don't eat tomatoes (fruit snot) or beans (mushy, icky and skin *shudders*) or a host of other foods.

Many accuse me of being weird. I am OK with that. 

I have avoided avocados for 30 years... I happened to try guacamole sort of by accident. I. Fell. In. Love. The most delicious thing you can do for yourself is eat avocados.

A little lime, sea salt, pepper and bacon. Glorious bacon. And Sweet potato fries on the side. Yum.

Since I haven't posted in a few weeks, here is this.

Sundays w/ Sara: the Cold Shower edition.

OK, so for the last week the hot water has been turned off. If its on, the water heater leaks due to the fact that the bottom is slowly rusting out. So... no hot water...

Its simply amazing how much we take for granted these days. I feel like Julia Roberts in 'Eat, Pray, Love' where she learns she has to boil water if she wants a hot bath then, when Julia looks confused,  the old Italian 'Mamma' sort of shouts at her "everything that needs to be clean gets clean!" then throws up her hands and walks away. Aside from the fact that this is apparently woefully inaccurate of how Italian life really is (the Romans figured out the whole "hot water" thing 2000 years ago. They had developed central heating systems for large villas and public baths. They did not rely on kettles to bathe themselves.), its a charming moment of pure, decadent movie nonsense. And it feels a little like my life, only without the old-world architecture and stereotypical Italian mother-type to make it worth it. And the Claw-Foot tub. I love a Claw-Foot tub...

Well, we don't have a bath tub; we have a shower. So I've been boiling water and pouring it into a glass bowl and taking that into the shower with me. I don't know about you, but I can't shave my legs with cold water. The hair washing with cold shower water is fine, all be it a bit uncomfortable, but really... things could be much worse. I could be "tan mom"... ug...  

Oh, shit does suck. Remember how I dropped my phone in a bucket of water? Yeah... it actually just sort of worked itself out of my pocket and *plop* right into the bucket as I was bending over to pick it up but anyway, I let it dry out over night and it works still... sort of... the camera comes on at odd times by itself but I cant take any pictures. The audio is funky sometimes, and it randomly shut off by itself once or twice. But at least it buys me time to see about getting a new one. So really, shit doesn't suck that bad after all.

Friday morning (see, I craft these things over the course of the week as I think of stuff...) I had thought of something brilliant to add to this blog, but I have since forgotten it. Damn it. Why does that always happen? Seriously, I would have a lot more to blog about if I could remember half of my inspired moments... which I can't... so its hard to prove they ever existed at all. Zombie Risk is one though... that will be real... in time.

Our 3rd wedding anniversary was this week on Wednesday. Both of us forgot. Its sad really. We didn't do anything at all that night (well, Beau stayed up playing video games and said some TOS violation-y things that got him banned from Xbox live for 2 weeks, so that was fun). Instead, we went out Saturday evening. Mom babysat the boy, we went downtown to see The Avengers at Cinebistro. The movie was everything that had been hyped. I really really enjoyed it. The food was just as bland and flavorless as last time so we won't be eating there again. Lesson learned. Though, the popcorn did not disappoint. Before the show ewe went to Irish 31 for a drink and some Potato Pub Skins (red potatoes with swiss, sauerkraut and corned beef. OMG). The bartender had on black hot pants, a black tank top and under the black tank top a pink one so that there was a strip of pink just above her butt that said in silver glitter "I Work Out" and it was awesome. She clearly did, but I just thought the song reference was so silly, it made me smile. I should have liked a photo (and the fellas would have liked it too) but my phone did fall in a bucket of water...

The boys feet are GIGANTIC. His skinny little legs end up in these big skis... poor guy. He is tripping over everything. Gonna need to buy him some new shoes soon. I see a bit of belly poke out in some shirts too. My baby is getting so big. *sniff*

Otherwise, not much else report. The boy is good, I am OK, Daddy is still addicted to fishing.
Happy Sunday, All.

Sundays w/ Sara: The Key Largo Edition

So Beaus 30th Birthday was this past weekend. He tried to deny it for a couple of days but finally gave in after the capture of a 15-20 pound black fin tuna whilst deep sea fishing (yes, I got sick...) on Saturday about 25 miles off the coast of Key Largo. It wasn't the biggest fish ever caught, but it was Beau biggest fish and it has given him "the Fever". I may never see my husband again, what with all the sneaking off to fish and all... meh... as long as he brings Momma home something to cook, I'll be happy. He is fishing as I type. He will probably still be fishing when you read this.

Pictures and video of the actual event to come as soon as Mom sends them. *hint-hint*, other photos to be found on FB. Oh yeah, I gave in an went back to FB, if I forgot to mention that. My smug sense of superiority is shattered.

ANyhOo...

Today, THIS was brought to my attention. It is all that is epic and I may have to register.

I have never done a race, let alone an obstacle course-race with zombie hordes, but I honestly don't see how I can pass this up... get some exercise, get dirty, get turned into a zombie or not, get a medal... how can this be a bad day? You get a medal even if you don't place... which I probably won't, so really I just want a zombie medal but they won't let me buy it so I have no choice but to race. I have 6 months to train. They even have a training page with CrossFit type workouts called Z.A.P. - Zombie Awareness Program. I will be doing this. Its in Orlando in November and its $67 if you register by June 6th. It goes up $10 bucks for the following 2 months and again another $10 bucks for the last 2 months before the race. Spectator tickets (for the post-race party) are like $22 bucks. I hope I can spare the dough to register... I would really like to do this. Its like Tough Mudder, only less tough and there are zombies.

Who wants to do this with me? It will be OSM.

Oh, and I started a juice fast today. I'm going to try to go 2 weeks. If I can get the money situation worked out (as in I can still afford to feed my family and do this too) I will try to go the whole month. Detox, Cleanse, start training.

I have a plan. Wheels are in motion. Gears are turning. Shit is happening.